Reflection
by Atopos
Summary: After returning to Japan, Kurogane lies in bed and thinks back on his father and what has made the two of them closer even now. Takes place after Kurogane looses his arm in Celes. Contains light yaoi nothing big . First Tsubasa fic posted.


Atopos - Wo0T!! My first Tsubasa fic! I told you I'd do it, I told you!!! Please excuse the somewhat hyperness. I am doing homework for my new Writer's Craft eLearning class (a class over the internet that encourages writing), but I got distracted a bit. I wrote this awhile ago, and it takes place later in the manga, after Kurogane loses his arm. It's mostly a thoughtful little piece that I did for fun.

Please don't judge me too harshly since it's the first one I'm posting. It might have a little yaoi in it, but enjoy anyways. (Maybe I'll write something like it for Fai since he is awesome).

R&R, and remember that I own nothing.

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Reflection

Lying on his back, safe from all kinds of troubles, passing in and out of consciousness… This was when Kurogane figured he had some time to think things through.

He had gone face-to-face with the man Fai had feared the most in all worlds; perhaps he was still afraid of the man even after his death. Fai did seem the type to think that spirits would come for him if they thought he deserved to die. Either way, Fai was safer now than he had been most of his life. Kurogane also did not regret losing a limb for the sake of his companion, someone he cared a lot about. He knew for a fact that he would be unable to forgive himself if he had watched Fai's world swallow him whole or if that man had taken complete control of him.

Kurogane also knew what had happened to Fai. He knew why the blond's life was such a hardship for Fai, and why he should have kept quiet over the matter. They both had led such painful pasts, and Fai dealt with pain by running for it. In all honesty, Kurogane was almost content that Fai had ended up in their care with at least most of his sanity still intact. Staying in that world would have chopped his soul and mind to pieces. At least now he was mostly whole with human feelings. That was what was most important to Kurogane at this point in the journey. He could put Fai back together some other time.

Kurogane now knew what strength was. He knew that even though he had almost forgotten what it was like to be included in a family, he had re-learned all there was from a different perspective. He had always been the little boy in the family, and then he became the father. He had felt a sense of pride when Syaoran picked up a sword and was able to use it properly. He felt he had worn a smile when Sakura spoke softly to him about meals and things Fai had taught her, to encourage her to be open was important. He knew he was protective whenever he knew someone was in trouble. Now, Syaoran was almost a taboo among them since the 'accident', Sakura was a missing soul, and Fai…Kurogane could only guess what had happened to him after the fiasco in Celes.

He had faced off against opponents that Japan would never be able to offer him. Vampires, kudan, spirits, strange demons, and some of the weirdest creatures he had ever seen. He have would never imagined these creatures on the planet he lived, and now he had worlds of experience because of them. Some were nice, some were not. Kurogane loved new challenges, but hated change. For some reason, though, the idea of leaving all this fighting and the 'family' traveling ticked him off. He wanted to see more, he wanted to fight against everything the other worlds had to offer. He knew that once he returned to his old life, the witch would not be so willing to let him leave without taking something away. Now he was missing an arm just because he wanted – no, needed – to have Fai stay with them as a family. He did not regret his decision, however.

Kurogane could feel himself growing dizzy with each new thought. It was as if he was re-living the happier moments of his journey because he was light-headed, causing him to daydream and drift off. He turned his head to the side, feeling a shot of pain run from his stump of an arm to all over his body. His arm was missing…so was his sword. Well, he could hopefully live without them.

He could remember some of the lessons from his father: A warrior never leaves without his weapon when heading out to fight an enemy. A warrior never left someone behind if they could be saved, or if they had a family to return to (even if you were just returning a body and no soul). A warrior does all he can to save someone who does not deserve to be hurt or killed, and does not let someone unaccustomed to battle take a hit (this applied more to women, children, and the elderly, but Kurogane applied it to those he traveled with as well).

Kurogane knew he had done his father proud by at least remembering what he had been taught. And as he focused his thoughts on how it felt to feel so much pain to save a loved one and to lose his weapon for them as well, Kurogane smiled when he realized that he had also learned what his father had gone through. His father had gone through the same ordeal to rescue his son and his wife. His father had died for those he had loved so much in life.

Kurogane had done the same for those he cared for.

Only Kurogane had managed to survive the horrific ordeal.

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- Atopos


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